Bill Simmons takes it on the chin
Written by The Big Train   
Monday, 18 May 2009 14:14

At the height of the SVG/D12 drama following Game 5, ESPN writer Bill Simmons had a chat during Game 6 in Orlando. It was an exercise in pounding Dwight, Stan, and everything not Boston. Here are the highlights:

Matt (Colorado): Dwight Howard is becoming the most overrated player in the league, and everyone is starting to realize it. What can he do on offense beside dunk? Then he calls out his coach, when it's the team's fault for the choke job, he has a lot of work to do to become a premier center in this league in my mind.

Bill Simmons: My issue is that he's not getting better, and also, he gets worse at the end of games. He's like Ben Wallace with a jump hook.

Bill Simmons: How fitting is it that Patrick Ewing coaches Dwight Howard? That's like Keanu Reeves taking Paul Walker under his wing.

Jared (Houston, TX): You just haven't seen SVG's good suits yet; you have to catch him either on the set at Vivid or on Olive Garden Wednesdays.

Karma (Everywhere, USA): Sorry, I can't stay and type very long. I need to get back to haunting Dwight Howard.

Kevin (Sioux Falls, SD): Dan Aykroyd just announced they're making Celtic Pride 2. The plot involves making sure SVG gets to the game on time.

Tom, New York: Halftime, just enough time for SVG to tell his team exactly how to gain the lead only to blow it in the 4th quarter, and also shoot two low budget films and polish off a cheesesteak.

Miner (San Francisco): I read an SI article about Dwight Howard that talked about how he and his boys get all decked out, go out to the clubs and bars, and don't drink at all. I don't like him anymore.

Brad, Bloomington, IN: Could Ron Jeremy have coached the Magic better this series?

Joe (Bristol): Um, you're not including Hanks' world class turn as Charlie Wilson? That was a HOF performance for so many reasons.

Bill Simmons: Great point. That was a potentially great movie that Julia Roberts murdered like SVG murdered Orlando's 2009 season. 15 rebounds for Rondo!

Bill Simmons: Come on ESPN - watch the Hedu closeups!! He already broke my HD tuner twice this spring.

Bill Simmons: That's not funny. Boston by one, end of the third. SVG interview coming. Watch how he repeats everything 3 times.

Bill Simmons: Notice that Orlando is playing that lineup I was afraid of? and winning all of a sudden? How dumb is SVG?

Bill Simmons: SVG Wired: "LISTEN! LISTEN WE GOTTA MAKE PLAYS! LISTEN!!!!" He might never work again.

Evilgrin72 (Orlando, FL): I'm going to beat the rush and start putting For Sale signs in SVG's yard right now. BRB.

So there you have it. That pretty much sums it up. My response: Boston is now 32 and FREAKING 1 when leading a best of 7 series 3-2.

boston

Have a neat summer Celtics. That is all.

Image courtesy the Orlando Sentinel

Comments (4)Add Comment
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written by curseofcleveland, May 19, 2009
Bill Simmons is an idiot. While I don't think very highly of Stan Van Gundy, I do think very highly of Dwight Howard. To say he isn't improving is ridiculous. I remember when the Indians were playing the Red Sox in the 2007 ALCS; Simmons referred to Tribe 2B Asdrubal Cabrera as "Ass-dribble" Cabrera. He's a completely classless homer, and I can obviously understand your frustration coming from Cleveland, the sports world's favorite red-headed stepchild.
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written by Igor, May 21, 2009
Wow, I am so glad I don't read Bill Simmons anymore.

Congrats on shutting the Celtics up, Magic.
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written by Brass Balls, May 27, 2009
Bill Simmons is hilarious. Your whining about him pointing out the obvious about Dwight Howard and SVG. And you have a comment whining about him making fun of a name. Sports should be fun, and he makes it fun. You guys need a life.
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written by Yogi, November 11, 2009
I know this is a really old post, but I thought I'd add Bill Simmons' stupidest quote on Dwight. It was written during his 2004 Draft Diary.

7:37 --The Magic are on the clock with the first pick. If they're smart, they take Emeka Okafor. If they're dumb, they take Howard. It's that simple.

Souce - http://sports.espn.go.com/espn...ons/040625

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