Open Letter to Brandon Bass
Written by Puns Team   
Tuesday, 30 June 2009 10:33

 Dear Brandon,

We are sure your agent has been telling you how great you are and how much other teams are going to be interested in you tomorrow. Well the PUNS team would like to throw our hat in the ring as the unofficial representative of the Orlando Magic.

You see our  frontline was exposed in the Finals last year as the Bynum/Odom/Gasol trio were basically able to do whatever they wanted inside and we had nothing to combat their edge in rebounding and size. Also when Dwight would come over and help or block a shot it typically led to an offensive rebound or an easy putback because nobody backs him up on the glass.

It can be fun to look at a boxscore and say wow Dwight had 23 rebounds last night but he needs help. He has told management this and we think you are the perfect sidekick. You are a beast in getting to the ball and have a very good rebounding rate per 48 minutes. You are not afraid to take the ball to the rim and have a very nice mid-range jumpshot which will keep defenses honest. All in all you are the perfect piece to the puzzle.

You are also very young so along with Dwight, Jameer, Pietrus, and Anderson you will be able to grow with this team. The Vince Carter signing was made to win a championship now. We need to be able to maximize Rashard's talents before he starts to decline and having Vince for the next 2 years will allow this team to do that. After that the team is setup to be able to rebuild on the fly and surround Dwight with even more talent as he hits his prime years. So not only will you have an opportunity to win a championship very soon but you will have a chance to do so for the foreseeable future.

All in all Mr. Bass our situation in Orlando seems like a great thing to me. If you need anything else to convince you there is always the weather and the lack of state income tax.

Thank you for your time today.

-The Puns Are Starting to Bore Me.

P.S. Magic colors look great on you!!

 

Special thanks to "AddiFB" at the Orlando Magic Message Board for the Photo.

 

Comments (1)Add Comment
...
written by cmarcis, June 30, 2009
Is that a codpiece in that Brandon Bass photoshopped picture? That's seriously frightening.

Write comment

busy
Next >
 

 

kid
Image of the day: Via Orlando Sentinel

The Mission. The Statement.

We are Terry and The Pump Fakes, Jareth Cutestory, Vile Feminista, Maxwell Effort, I 3 Freely, Paul Ego, Supply and Demand, El Fantasma de Carlos, The Big Train, The Nickel Steak, Ayo!, and Tyson J. Perfect. Together, we are Magic fans. We remember Nick’s steal against Jordan, Billy Donovan, Scott Skiles, Jerryl Sasser and Reece Gaines, The Mac Attacks, the NBA on NBC, and Grant Hill’s ankle. We also watch TV and read the internet, thus noticing the endless flow of unoriginal Orlando Magic related puns. We have combined to discuss the Magic, the NBA, and from time to time supply side economics and the life of Leonardo da Vinci. Together we are The Puns Are Starting to Bore Me.

About Bloguin

Bloguin is the revolutionary blog network specifically focused on helping bloggers get the most out of their websites. We're currently working on building a large network of online communities and hope to expand our blogging coverage to include a wide range of topics.

Advertisers

The Bloguin Network allows advertisers to promote their products and services to our ever-growing number of visitors. We offer both site-specific ad placements as well as the ability to run a network-wide campaign. If you're interested in working with Bloguin to meet your advertising needs, please contact us.

Bloggers Wanted

The Bloguin Network is always looking to expand. We're specifically looking for blogs in the sports, entertainment, and video games field, but are open to adding any type of quality site.. If you're a blogger and interested in joining our network, please fill out our application form.

The Bloguin Login

The Bloguin Login gives you full access to everything our network has to offer. Your name and password will work for each and every one of our sites. Signing up is simple, and will allow you to post in all our forums, create member blogs, and access other cool features! What are you waiting for? Create an Account!